About six months ago a friend and I bought a training program to get us started as online retailers. To date we have made one sale (Thanks, Mom!). We technically got what we paid for. I don’t believe the training was at all bad. We did get a website, and we did get the traffic they promised us. There are numerous reasons I can think of why we haven’t converted any sales yet. Only a few lay all the blame on the people who sold us the program, and they’re unlikely. I’m dissatisfied with my experience, to be sure, but I don’t feel like I was conned.
But evidently others do. They feel they should somehow be shielded from the consequences of their choices. And guess what. That opens the doors for the real con artists. I’ve received numerous calls over the past few months from some company who claims to help you get your money back from companies like the one we worked with. To be sure, our vendor has its problems. Their marketing techniques used to be less than honest a few years ago, and they have paid out some money and made changes to their marketing materials as a result of government action. But from what I can tell, none of those situations apply to my case.
But this new company is willing to help people like me. For $500 they will send you forms to fill out and mail in. You become one of their clients! It’s never quite clear what it is they do for you beyond send you the forms. In fact, if you check the Better Business Bureau’s file on this company (they have an F rating), it seems that all they do is send you forms–forms you could get for free if you know where to look.
Oh, they’ll go on at length (until I get tired and hang up on them) about how unscrupulous this other company is and how you really need to go after them. They’ll tell you that 13 states have filed actions against them (in which case, if yours is one, you should contact your Attorney General–he will get you money, too, and for no cost on your part). They’ll tell you about clients who got most or all of their money back. But they won’t promise you anything.
They are feeding off the human notion that we should never have to suffer negative consequences. If something you tried didn’t work–even if the vendor never promised it would–you have a right to get your money back. You deserve a “do-over”. Failure should never be a permanent option.
It’s a nice idea, but as I said, it leaves you prone to scammers. Or, as Westley tells Buttercup in The Princess Bride, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.” Do I like failure? No. Do I like the feeling of having perhaps fallen victim to a scam? No. But I have two choices at this point. I can waste a lot of time, money, and emotional well-being exacting revenge, or I can move on, learn from my mistakes, and focus on the future.
The company that called me today wants to use the shame and embarrassment I feel at potentially having been scammed to scam me yet again. Shame, like hate, like lust, like greed, or many other emotions, is a tool others can use to get inside your head and take something from you.
The sad thing is that those people who somehow do manage to whine their way into avoiding their consequences have much less initiative to keep from getting scammed in the future. They don’t feel they have to learn from their failures because they manage to avoid any actual failure. Chances are they’ll get scammed again because they don’t feel they have much to lose.They’ll likely be convinced that the next time will be the time they hit it big. And if they don’t–well, they’ll figure out a way to avoid that one, too.
Don’t get me wrong. People who purposely take advantage of people do deserve their comeuppance. But people who essentially get what they pay for and still insist that they get their money back…well, that’s a bit more of a gray area. The company may share some of the blame if they set unrealistic expectations, but the buyer needs to bear some responsibility as well.
No, I’m not happy about my experience. But I intend to learn from it. I do not intend to spend even more money trying to get back money that is already gone and will only be recovered by browbeating someone into doing something they really shouldn’t have to do just to shut me up. I will be better served in the long run to learn what I can, and forget the rest.
The School of Hard Knocks is not anyone’s favorite educational institution, but lessons learned there are harder to forget.
I agree — we are a society caught up in blaming everyone else and unwilling to admit any responsibility for our own choices. And then everyone wonders why the lawyers get richer and the price of everything goes up, including medical care, insurance, and so forth.
I work with a person who has some rather strong and odd views on politics. I don't often agree with him, but when today he mentioned that far too many people rely on the government to shield them from dishonest people rather than doing their own homework I couldn't entirely disagree with him.
Recently the FCC published guidelines for bloggers insisting that we have to reveal when we are receiving any compensation from anyone we may mention in our blogging. While certainly a good idea, I don't see why they need to make it mandatory.
Others have even pointed out that mainstream journalists are not held to the same standard, and that such a double standard may make the FCC ruling unconstitutional. I don't know about that, but I do know that such a ruling is not going to discourage those who were being dishonest about their conflicts of interest before. All it will do is make those who were already honest be almost paranoid about being honest. Does it really serve anyone?